You can now look me up on the Internet Movie Database

Yes. Because I'm on it!

I'm so overwhelmed by everything that is happening to me these days. I cannot even put it into words.

Being on IMDb is one of those things I had been looking forward to for a long time, like it would mean that I had accomplished something.

It may be a small step - and just one tini tiny movie title - but it is something I can check out from the big fat book of things do in life.

√

And it feels GOOD!

This mind-blowing event provides me with a great opportunity to share with you however little knowledge I gathered from my experience.

Compromise always, prime importance in life, but never, ever settle down for less than you deserve.

Please come visit me frequently and feel right at home!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4108526

Meme

From the ominous Wikipedia:

A meme (pronounced /ˈmiːm/, rhyming with "cream") is a postulated unit of cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. (The word is a blend of "gene" and the Greek word μιμητισμός for "something imitated".) Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes, in that they self-replicate and respond to selective pressures.

The British scientist Richard Dawkins coined the word "meme" in The Selfish Gene (1976) as a concept for discussion of evolutionary principles in explaining the spread of ideas and cultural phenomena. Examples of memes given in the book included melodies, catch-phrases, beliefs (notably religious beliefs), fashion, and the technology of building arches.

Meme-theorists contend that memes evolve by natural selection (in a manner analogous to that of biological evolution) through the processes of variation, mutation, competition, and inheritance influencing an individual meme's reproductive success. Memes spread through the behaviors that they generate in their hosts. Memes that propagate less prolifically may become extinct, while others may survive, spread, and (for better or for worse) mutate. Theorists point out that memes which replicate the most effectively spread best, and some memes may replicate effectively even when they prove detrimental to the welfare of their hosts.

I have decided today that I want to lend a hand to extinction verging memes at my own welfare's detrimental risk. I'll start working on that!

Marty McFly (still) is the man of my dreams

Is there something wrong with me? It’s Saturday night and I’ve been asked out by a few different groups of friends. I denied myself. Actually I was kinda scared that if they were going to invite me along more insistently I wouldn’t have been able to fend for my rights.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends. I’m an outgoing people’s person. But I’m just not that much into going out. Tonight for example I was perfectly contempt with staying at home with my parents in my PJs watching AS Roma play Genoa – and we won, eff them we won – while licking my fingers from a saucy mozzarella, tomatoes and raw ham pizza.

I went out with my girls this afternoon, we hung out, I got back at 8, so I’ve had my fair share of social interaction. I don’t feel compelled to get crazy late after dinner and sweat my ass off in cluttered, noisy clubs. I mean I like to let lose occasionally but it’s not my ideal timekiller. Am I missing out on something I will only be able to do at this stage of my life? That I have yet to figure out.

I usually spend most of my nights at football practice. Three times a week I get home at 11.30 pm, exhausted and hungry. To be honest with you when the opportunity presents itself to spend a whole evening at home, like during the weekend, I seize it!

Maybe I can make an exception if you’re taking me to a good movie, but otherwise I have fun minding my own business in my room. Taking care of my job’s public relations, reading my self-teaching books, catching up on films and tv, and writing this blog post.

No one went ahead in this business by waiting for occasions to rain on them. You have to work hard to succeed and sometimes this means homebound time. Personality is called that because it’s personal and not everybody will understand it. Well that is fine by me. Personality is the thing that is taking me places therefore I embrace it!

Then again I get these looks from people like “You’re staying in on a Saturday areyoucrazy?????” and I just don’t get them.

The interior of my house is so much fun. I have food, a macbook, a phone, adsl and tons of books, and that’s really all I need. Thanks to a couple of these in fact I did something I found EXTREMELY enjoyable today.

That is booking tickets to go see Back To The freaking Future back in a freaking CINEMA in ten freaking days!!!!

I waited 25 long years for this. And I’m going to finely taste every single second of it. Starting statim.

Now after that kind of screening, I find it would be a good time for me to go raise hell at some rhythmic ceremonial ritual, and that is exactly what I think I’ll do, but just because I won't be able to be here!!

In all seriousness these guys' initiative is plaudible. Joining terrific fun with a good cause is inspiring and jealous inducing. I would so want to join in. And there's a dress up contest for Doc's sake. I might cry...

Check them out at @weregoingback and weregoingback.com

Undercovers - Jailbreak

Here we go with the accent episode. No, the title is not “accents” but it might as well have been. Today we learn that not just Sam is good with Great Britain inflections, but so is the rest of the cast. Bravo!

Dublin, Ireland. I’m distracted. Ok, I will tell you the truth. Scottish and Irish accents arouse the bejizzle out of me so I don’t care what these guys are saying, I just want to see them naked. Anyhow something has been stolen, go figure.

And, after the first couple of minutes in a foreign prelude we are, like each week before, surprisingly catapulted to the Bloom Catering offices. I’m wondering if the main outline of the episodes will start changing as the show evolves. I fear not. Stupid sister is there at 7 am cooking. Oh God writers please do not start a storyline for her, that’ll be a serious waste of money and some very good shows are being cancelled for financial difficulties right about now, think about that. Anyway I will dismiss this nonsense quickly. She’s trying to kiss the Blooms’ black slick asses because she wants their secret secret-agents’ money and she wants it now. I’ll spare you the pain of watching and tell you straight, Sam will give it to her, but Steve, oh Steve is a human lie detector, and his detecting sensor is mounted on his perfect abs, so that’s why it works so well. In fact he doesn’t buy this charade for a second. And he knows he’s right. He knows it so well he publicly displays his superiority by stand-offishly biting a shiny apple. You work it pal!

Spy-wise Baldie joins the Blues Brothers and implies ONCE AGAIN that the Blooms have been reactivated for some shady purpose. You already said that, we are not deaf, and if we were deaf we’d have subtitles so please move on!! But before his stupid stint is over he has one more present for us and he refers to the Blooms as rusty ONE MORE TIME. Right after that though he admits they’re not unintelligent. That sweeps through my auditory canal like a breath of fresh air. At any rate Baldie goes on to inform our sexspionagers that the hot accent guy has actually stolen a hard drive from a CIA cargo hence the old ballad of info selling. You get the gist of it. The news is he was actually arrested but escaped prison by faking a seizure while blatantly wearing an obnoxious wig. Can’t these people just cast actors with long hair??

Abs and Sam are flown to the prison right away to get a lead on the escaped prisoner. They are all equipped with fake identities and, of course, fake accents. Once they get there they are informed that their supposed boss is already on the premises. Drum roll, scared faces, camera pans right and… There is Leo. Hello Leo. Yes, you smile like that and ratings will go UP!!!!

Sam scolds him about passing as chief inspector, a move that was not exactly what you would call inconspicuous. But Leo replies that “you can’t spell inconspicuous without conspicuous” and you can see there and then that Sam wants to rip his clothes off. And quite frankly, so do I. Leo states he’s there to help them get their spy legs back and you can see there and then that Steve wants to bite him alive. And quite frankly, so do I, especially the neck. Yummy. While the guys talk about a few magazines that were found in the cell, which Leo had to confiscate for research – PORN – Sam finds a teddy bear full of what I assume to be seizure inducing drugs. Unfortunately it’s not that obvious for them and they resort to calling Flunkman for analysis. He keeps saying “matey” and that’s the most annoying he’s ever been so I will ignore him completely.

The detecting sensor in Steve abs smells an affiliation between hot accent wigged guy and an Irish gang. So Flunkman, who apparently is pretty crafted at drawing (this doesn’t make you any better, stop hoping) replicates the famous gang’s tattoo on Steve’s neck so he can infiltrate. Meanwhile hot accent guy shaves his wig off and wears sunglasses, great disguise, just like Peter Parker’s.

Here’s right about when it happens, possible character developing. Just as he’d done with Steve a couple of weeks ago Leo asks Sam if she’d been honest with the real motives that made her leave the CIA. And, wait for it, she hasn’t! I spy with my little eye a lot of lies here people. Start using them for plot purposes!! We should be so lucky. In fact Steve ruins the party and everybody goes to work.

The group splits up. The humping bunnies go to the gang’s headquarters to investigate while Leo and Flunkman reach for hot accent guy’s ex wife and find out she has the same teddy bear that was found in the cell. She is therefore a suspect and this allows Leo to have sex with her to extract information. Unfortunately she has not much to say, but Leo is not too discouraged by that.

At the gang’s Steve manages to get the name of hot accent guy’s partner in crime and Flunkman pinpoints the location of his house. They go there but there is no sign of the suspect. Instead they find Leo. Info travel faster under the sheets. The abs cannot suffer this kind of slight so they engage in a verbal slam-down with their disguised nemesis. Sadly for Steve Leo has the best of it comparing himself to a cheetah on the African plains that will always be ahead of him until he gets his spy legs back, thus being able to close the gap, mind, not catch up to him. Whoa! The race is on! Once things start to interestingly swirl over to Leo’s sex life Flunkman sadly intrudes. He’s found a cell phone number that will track hot accent partner down at the first phone call he gets. So we sit around, waiting. While we enjoy this dull moment of idleness the apple sneaks back in. Nice to see you again Ruby!

Hot accent partner finally gets a call. It’s hot accent wigless guy asking for a meet up. A little chat among friends I suppose. Once they get there Wigless’ true colors actually shine through as a damn doublecrosser. Ouch. I feel there’s always a doublecross in these Undercovers plot but surprisingly they haven’t bored me yet. Anyway Wigless has Partner’s wife and he wants to start flying solo, meaning he doesn’t want to have Partner as a partner anymore. Oh he must be crushed. So Partner has to back off if he wants to have his wife back. Of course he does. Wife is let go and while slowly scarily walking toward Partner, she gets a freaking gun and shoots her husband out cold. Ouch. OUCH!

Our talented spies and some of their high heels get in a little too late, but they are so not “unintelligent” that they figure out the murder must have been Wigless’ fault. Flunkman of course has an answer to any question so we are lead the way to London, England by means of a nice swing melody. That’s where Wigless and Traitor Wife are at.

They are checked in a hotel under the name George Best (another piece of info courtesy of Leo’s sexual intercourse), the only thing missing is a room number. Flunkman gets hold of it using what he calls the reverse seduction, meaning he had the lady concierge so focused on rejecting him she didn’t realize he’d downloaded the whole hotel registry on his cell. If it had been me working at that desk I would have puked all over his phone making his download trick totally useless. Observing the whole scene from afar already had me somewhat nauseous.

The quartet storms in George Best’s room. Traitor Wife is the only one there so they interrogate her. She is going to the opera to deliver the hard disk to the buyer. She doesn’t physically have the drive herself though, Wigless is going to make his appearance with it once the money is handed over. Luckily Traitor Wife is the same dress size as Sam so she can pose as her at the Royal freaking Albert Hall.

They display themselves as follows: Leo stewards in the main stalls, Sam pretends to be an attendee and waits for the buyer, Steve plays tympani in the orchestra (yes, wtf! Talking about being inconspicuous), and Flunkman thank God stays behind guarding Traitor Wife.

The buyer gets there and Sam texts Wigless just as he had instructed Traitor Wife to do. He then communicates her where he and the hard disk are located, in order to get to them, via a number. Of course Sam doesn’t have a clue what that number means and stalls for a second. Buyer gets suspicious and he’s totally on to her. That’s when the most awesome thing happens. While Buyer confronts Sam, Steve tells her to move slightly left when the strings kick in. As she does he shoots some narcotic right into Buyer’s stomach with the drumsticks - from the stage.

Meanwhile Leo figures out the number actually relates to a parking spot underneath the building so he rushes to the garage and sure enough finds Wigless, who is sufficiently quick to hold him at gunpoint. What’s faster then cheetahs Leo??  Steve sneaks off the stage and retrieves the briefcase full of money from under sleeping beauty Buyer’s seat but before heading to the garage he puts something in it. Once Sam joins the party as well Wigless throws her the hard drive and asks for his money. She won’t give it to him (and to be fair she doesn’t even have it), not even when he threatens to kill Leo. Her great excuse is that they have Traitor Wife in custody and she promises they’re going to shoot her if he shoots Leo. Turns out Wigless doesn’t give a fuck about Traitor Wife. She hears that and even sheds a tear.

Right at that moment the best spy on the planet – that’d be Steve – fortunately has a brilliant idea. He’s going to give Wigless the briefcase full of money AND let him keep Leo. Nice plan! No different than what he did to him in Belgrade. BAM, another previous mission reference, this could get juicy. I wonder how Wigless doesn’t figure out they’re planning to play him around. And they surely do. Leo jumps out of the car and a bomb explodes. Deafened by the noise he loudly states Steve finally got his spy legs back. He looks like a 7 year old on his birthday. He’s cute.

Back home Baldie asks if Sam knew there was a bomb in the briefcase when Steve handed it to Wigless. She says yes. Filthy liar. And that’s when all the chickens come home to roost. Leo had questioned the hot couple before: were they hiding their past from one another so they could shelter the agency, like they were stating, or instead in order to protect their shady selves? We are starting to get an answer to that question.

Sam is not sure the pact she made with her husband is a good idea anymore, she’s jealous she didn’t know about Belgrade while Leo did. She feels guilty that they’re not telling each other things about themselves, which is no different than lying. Spot on young lady. She wants to come clean about why she left the agency but Steve stops her mumbling some lame excuse on how he doesn’t want to know it as long as the fact that they wanted to leave a normal life was part of it. You could have come up with something more believable Steve! Of course Sam, being the spy that she is, totally smells the stink and implies that maybe Steve is saying all this because he doesn’t want to let her in HIS past. Steve finds himself stuck in a corner here so he does what every man would have done. He kisses her to shut her mouth. And she does what every woman would have done, she enjoys it. While Steve sneaks a pensive, untrustworthy look behind her back.

Surprisingly this episode ends without sex.

A long long time ago in a country far far away… (Episode 2)

It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although high school is almost over, further uncontrollable desires for freedom have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the Ocean.

So I find myself in Omaha. Au-paring for a family who has a lovely 3 year old, and an extremely bitchy 15 year old. It is the 4^th of July when I set foot in the States, so it all starts with fireworks! When the pyrotechnics end though I am left by myself a lot of the times, but always find something to do. I would go out riding a bike and snap pics of the neighboring streets. Wide light concrete block rivers through the city, green yards and wood paneled houses had populated my movie fueled imagination for ever and I was finally out there surfing through them. I actually couldn’t have asked for more.

The occasional trip to Target would make my day. Huge department stores had a thing for me, and I returned it. My go to aisle would be the fridges’. Chocolate chip waffles were a must! Everyday!! Yeah that wasn’t my slimmest phase. Also attributable to frequent take away and Applebees.

One of the happiest moments was when I discovered people actually drank milk from the carton. See I’m not a milk person, so I skipped on that tradition. But I was happy to take on a new one: the slip and slide. Good times!

Then finally August came and school started. The 15 year old was going to be a freshman at an all girls’ school. I asked if I could go with. Wish granted. I got my own schedule and attended for two days. I didn’t have time to step my foot into the premises and I was already popular. That was the easiest time I got it. The 15 year old didn’t take it well at all so that is about the time when things really went apeshit. The other girls at school were instead all over me, and so I was in. In the cool kids circle that is.

Homecoming was my first official attendance, where we got to mingle with our nearby all boys’ school. Then it was all football matches, Saturday afternoons’ concerts, Sunday fairs, night outs, basement meet ups and mostly house parties. Everything also went all American Pie on me.

This one time I was at a house party and we were all drinking in the yard from big red and blue cups. I can’t even remember what was inside them. Probably Diet Coke. Well right at that moment two police cars come rushing from around the corners, sirens  shrieking. I saw like 50 cups flying in the air like graduation hats decorating the sky and then people were running aimlessly. Someone grabs me and yells to be quick. It truly felt like a movie. I didn’t want it to end. Then this car drives by and someone opens the back door and motions to get in. We were suddenly 9 kids in there. And we drove away from law-enforcement!

These girls I was with during the police escape I’m still in contact with to this day. It’s been 10 years! In hindsight that is definitely what struck me most about experiencing an American community. That it actually is a community. This concept seldom exists in Italy. Each of us thinks about himself and that’s it. Me included. Extreme Makeover Home Edition could never work here if you know what I’m saying. Flocks of people gathering to help unfortunate families. Kids giving up their savings to help. I have seen that happen on that show. Maybe it’s scripted, they fooled me and they gave the kid his money back. But that’s not how I see it. That show gets to me. I cry every single time I watch it. There must be something that goes through, something real. And that would be one of the reasons I want to go live in this country, because I want to be like that. Ty Pennington may be another reason.

Well anyhow, summer 2001 ends, I go back home and I get my drivers license in 1.5 months flat. That’s rare. Because you know, nobody puts Baby in a corner…


Go to Episode III

Undercovers - Devices

I might have approached Undercovers with the wrong attitude last week. I may have been too worried about reviewing it to actually enjoy it. This week I sat back, relaxed, and actually like it. Well, not exactly liked it liked it in a LOST kind of way. I just didn’t think I totally wasted 40 minutes of my day. Good enough right?

Here’s the thing. The show has its light touches, which I enjoy. If it were taking itself too seriously it would be committing suicide, but by presenting itself as a mockery, sexy piece of entertainment it just saves its day. Bare in mind though that you’re walking down a thin line here, one misstep and you’re out… I’ll be watching you!

***

I forewarn you, this episode starts and ends with sex, double ding ding! Also the title is “devices” so the jokes this week will be on all things technological widgets with which Steven is apparently obsessed, but I’ll do my best to skip on those.

The back-story kind of intrigues me, although I’m still strongly adverse to this one episode storylines. Gotta have the big season enemy, that’s how it works Show! I’m not talking Rambaldi. Rambaldi was a sham. I’m more along the lines of Sark, just someone whom you learn to love and hate and mostly would like to see naked until the big season finale and showdown. That’s called a climax J.J. and you are not taking advantage of that legit figure of speech. You should know better!

But I digress. The back-story we were talking about. Well there’s a psycho Shane Dawson in a mental institution. Mental institutions freak me out no matter what. Shane Dawson is a bipolar genius and he’s kidnapped from it in order to break a code that will let the bad guys into the CIA database, hence letting them in on the identities of all agents. That’s bad. Oh wait a minute. Does this mean that Flunkman gets killed?? Now I think I suddenly like bad guys’ plan! Anyhow Shane Dawson is a freaky eyed lil’ dude and he pops them right out for candies. So bad guys are bribing him with jelly beans. Sweet!

The animosity between the humping Blooms and Baldie is ongoing but it’s getting old y’all!!! Baldie steals Abs’ breakfast and they have a catfight, then Abs threatens Baldie and they have a catfight. So forth.

A boring side-story on the catering business and the stupid sister mishandling a funeral is chipped in. We. Don’t. Care.

And then unfortunately Flunkman appears. In a silky PJ the color of vomit. It is actually stated that it is 96% silk, and Abs adds: 4% Lady Gaga. This kind of humor makes me reappraise Vampire Sucks.

The operation so begins and Dimples makes his glorious entrance. In a slutty bar they discover the identity of the bad guys who let them right to where Shane Dawson is working the magic. Abs takes the lead and encourages Leo to follow him like in Budapest. Classy! I missed the references to previous missions you know nothing about, which leave you on the edge of your seat longing to know what comes next. This wasn’t exactly the case thoguh, cause Budapest was probably not that entertaining from what I gather, but I appreciate the chemistry this move creates. Of course Syd and Dixon were better at it.

After climbing a 20 storey high building from the outside with bare hands.

Extremely believable.

And a couple of gunfights later (bad guys were doublecrossing), the sexy trio recovers the laptop that was supposed to be the codebreaker and the silverfox bad guy (as described by Dimples) runs away with Shane Dawson.

Marry-go-merries return to their kitchen, laptop in hand, and here is a development I liked. They had actually failed. No excuses been made. Our leading people just plain sucked. That seldom happens. Baldie points out that the laptop is useless by itself and the Blooms, using a security camera that magnifies 1 gaziollion percent in HD, discover who Shane Dawson is by a hospital bracelet on his wrist, thus understanding that he is in fact the codebreaker. DAN DAN. I care to point out that Abs is actually using a macbook. Let’s talk about being cool Dimples!!

The Blooms have to make it up for their tragic error so they load up the van and go to Germany. They break into Silverfox headquarters and they’re so smooth they’re discovered in 5 minutes. Sam is held at gunpoint and Abs comes to the rescue on a white horse. Not quite but I would have loved to see that! Shane Dawson freaks out and gets hold of a gun but Abs shoots Silverfox in the shoulder and the day is saved.

This is the right moment for some slapstick comedy so while Dimples shoves Silverfox in the CIA van he smashes the door on his face. And then we get suddenly intense when Abs asks Baldie if Shane Dawson is going to be given medical treatments by the American Intelligence only to have access to his talent, just like the bad guys. How thoughtful. Baldie responds “have a nice day agents Bloom” so that obviously means “yes”.

BAM. The Blooms are in bed and they’re making devices jokes, so over and out.

Undercovers - Instructions

Alright, I’m going to tear this show down this week!! It was an hour long cry for help, oh my G.

First of all a few general notes.

Dear J.J., since the motion picture was invented shirtlessness is commonly used to milk on people’s sexual drives when there is otherwise a lack of ideas. I’m not jumping to conclusions here, you have my benefit of the doubt, hell I gave it to you even when you wanted me to believe that John Locke’s father had suddenly appeared through a magic box. Still I can’t help but wonder. There wasn’t any need for this much nudity in the Sydney Bristow days, you remember, the days when your stories still made sense? What I’m saying is although I enjoy shirtlessness very much and in this case it’s like a chunk of sweet hot chocolate in a pretty cup, is this all you’ve got? I don’t want to sound pretentious but I’m 27 now and I’m here for the contents, not just the container anymore. You should expect more of us. We have already seen Alias after all you know, our standards are pretty high!

Secondly, Baldie goes to our heroes once they’ve put their clothes back on and offers them another mission, all the while underlining that he doesn’t trust them one bit, in fact, he hates them. Now Baldie, you’ve got to give me a more convincing story as for why you called them back because this “you’re rusty and old but we want to assign the baddest ass cases to you anyway because we’re masochistic” attitude is lame and simply put it seems only 5 year olds could be satisfied with it. Because when Undercovers is on 5 year olds are asleep.

Third off, I know I said the accents were good but also there really is no need to show off. We get it, Syd’s replacement is good at British/Australian accents. You are overkilling it. Move on…!

Lastly, oh wow, the annoying Marshall Flinkman is back. Not only he’s winy, he doesn’t even invent anything. What kind of Marshall Flinkman are you kiddo? Ah but he goes on missions, and plays the dumb who’s always left out. Great, so we have to endure his presence even longer.

Now back to this week’s nightmare episode.

We’re chasing bad bad bad bomber brothers and we have one of their right arms in custidy. The abs of Steven are watching him from afar randevouzing with supposedly one of the Jonas bombers. Climax. Three bitches approach the abs and, wait for it, the abs get distracted and the right arm bails. This is the reason why Alias was successful: a woman had the lead of the show. This dumb ass escamotage could have never be plausible, such a scene could have never happened with a woman.

Considering the abs of Steven are stupid, Baldie schedules a scolding. And this is the only scene I enjoyed in this episode. The Blooms believed the right arm was as innocent as an altar boy because it was in the script, and that’s exactly what Baldie tells them. So they screwed up. Also Steven didn’t activate the tracker that he previously put in right arm’s watch because, and this is this week’s inside joke (hence the title), he doesn’t read instructions, he’s a non instructions guy (while Flunkman actually reads them cover to cover in any language, comprehending the electrical hazard warnings and that is what must get him ways with the ladies). So this is where the genius steps in. Baldie is bringing a new addition to the team, trying to increase the overall IQ I believe. Enter Leo (the blondie smirky agent from last week). Now we’re talking! Leo’s sexy dimples are apparently knowledgeable on current generation’s technology so that’s a breath of fresh air for the CIA. Also I think Baldie enjoys the sexual tensions and the teasing of dimples VS abs. But don’t we all? Aw the ancient Hamletic doubt.

It is the time for the upgraded team to recoup where they screwed and activate the tracker, but before they do that Sam’s sister manages to sneak in and have a moment of hots for Leo. Who blames her!

Abs and Dimples are in the kitchen, displaced over the set in a symmetric arrangement, one mirroring the other. Abs is trying to fix the coffee machine he broke at the beginning of the episode because, guess what, he didn’t read the instructions. Dimples is instead in front of a PC fixing the tracker remotely, because he’s cool like that. Actually, if you want my opinion, if he really was cool, he’d have a Mac. So we get the idea that this show is equally about spy things and homie things while this coffee machine/tracker system scene unfolds before our eyes. All they do is talk about instructions and Dimples having sex with Sam years and years before when they were an item. Yes, because the sex jokes and the instructions jokes are all the rage these days. But Abs suddenly finds a reason to break the recreational moment here. While Dimples explains blabber shit on how to activate the tracker Abs goes all newscaster on us and proclaims “There’s someone in this world making an explosive to BLOW UP who knows what!”. And when he says blow up with such intensity Dimples has the fakest reaction ever.

This one.

Wow, what a show-stopper concept has Abs brought up for a couple of people already on a mission to stop someone blowing up some things. On a side note Dimples implies that Abs is lying to his wife concerning his motives for leaving the CIA. Uh oh, gotcha.

Anyhow, once seriousness is restored they manage to pinpoint the location of the bomber. Stockholm. CGI postcard and… We’re in.

After a series of shenannigans that I won’t bother mentioning we get to the showdown. Jonas’ right arm is in Stockholm during a global business summit with a kidnapped doctor who’s building him a super miniaturized bomb, it’s really hard to guess what his agenda is, especially for SPIES… But they’re so good they make it out! It’s kinda like me kidnapping Anna Wintour, steal her pass and then head out wearing a brown bob wig and big glasses in New York City during fashion week. Who knows what I might be doing next!

So our talented and intelligent agents rush to the summit and they change their clothes for the cameras in the parking lot. More shirtlessness. They get all dolled up and Sam’s wearing a Herve Leger. It’s fair to say that in this episode the clothes have been otherwise pretty believable, unlike last week. No Loubs, just trainers. Note how in the close ups she’s had a noticeable trip to the hairdresser.

They’re tipped by the good doctor who was forced to build the bomb that it actually is in a cell phone so while Sam and Dimples search for it, Abs follows the bad guy. Sam is divided between the red and the black wire for a while then cuts the black and after a moment of suspense obviously the bomb stops. All the while Abs punches right arm in the face, but I’d be more convincing at it. He’s supposed to be the best spy there is??? Ah ah. I laugh at you show. Still they win. Bad guys are down. Ka ching.

And apparently every episode ends with the Blooms having sex (this time she rewards him because he finally read the instructions of the coffee machine and made a cappuccino). Great!

See you next week, maybe.