Who's afraid?

It has been a fortunate week to amend to a lot of slacking I confess to being guilty of in the recent past. I’ve seen five movies in the last five days.

Four of them were previews, that means I’m in the process of spending a lot of time in front of this keyboard exercising my fingers in writing reviews.
(oy nibble at my rhymes!)

Scott Pilgrim vs the World, which I’ve watched in bed on my laptop, is a spiky psychedelic rainbow. It seemed to me like a PG version of Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, so much so that it was such kind of way too much (again! Oh man I’m on fire!!). Does Ramona Flowers really change hair color in the comic? I don’t know. Wait, let me check… It looks like, mmm, uncertain. But I have found something that proves my point and shows my wits have kindred spirits - although I don’t know who to credit for it because I’m the world’s biggest tumblr ignoramus.

You know I wouldn’t blame the director if it were just that, after all who are we to deprive teenagers of their own eternal sunshine? Everyone’s entitled to a little tan.

But then we have the hair, plus the sudden locations switch, plus the superimposed words that appear out of thin air, plus the death and the flashbacks and it all becomes a woah are you kidding me? Mix and match all you want guys, I’m all for freaky stuff, but you’re way too in for your own good.

How they adapted the videogame part of the theme I liked though. The VS word appearing over the contenders standing in front of each other from side view got my geeks going. Ready. Set. Fight!

I liked it all in all but I’m a bigger fan of people who kind of make a statement and stick with it. A lot of confusion mostly than not goes a short way. Points for trying. Lost in translation.

Sucker Punch I saw for and with my brother. Was expecting the shit out of it and I stood corrected. Apart from a rocking beginning, almost mute and fucking with my brain.

I don’t know about you but the first fantasy level, with the night club and all, worked for me. The second level, because it’s blatant there had to be a second level for the movie to stand out, although the reason is somewhat unfathomable, could have been better executed. I liked how they tried to set each fight in a diverse nerd climax but I couldn’t see that nerd coming to save his life. Sorry for the crude image, that’s just me. I thought differentiation would have done a much more thorough job, and I will not step in the different possible pairings of the word “job” territory.

The steam-punk bit is gorge, but it kind of goes downhill from there. Like the first image from each fight, shot from the airplanes, looks like the previous and next one to me. I guess I’m disappointed because I was looking for a more groundbreaking a la 300 thing rather than a quiche of minced repeating with recurring sauce, both in terms of atmospheres and actions.

Not addressing the skimpy girls situation because I’ve already told you what the director wanted the nerd to do.

Overall the thing I’m walking away with here is this.

Not the actual lady.

Could’t wait to go out last night, a Saturday, finally, and wear it like I was gonna tear this town down (and, we have a winner ladies and gentlemen!!!).

Didn't turn out quite like I was expecting it to, I may have blended too much, but hey neither did the movie. Can't ride two horses with the same ass.

Machete was for a review, which has still to be written. Don’t know where to start really. I may need to organize my thoughts just now. Robert Rodriguez either does kids flicks or this kind of films. Mexico, desaturate colors, sweat, gore and a fetishized items, in this case, the title word.

It was intensely hilarious at times but to me, no matter how much he tries, he’s no Tarantino. I find the Quentin to be more playful with his style, while Rodriguez mostly feels like he takes it far too seriously. It’s fun VS raw. And with me, as always, the fun wins!

The slaughter doesn’t give you time to inhale, and that’s cool. Michelle Rodriguez stinks the screen with her horrific stale self. What actress builds a career on doing the same role for 15 years? And Lindsay Lohan, oh don’t even get me started on her.

She's using a very twisted logic to rehabilitate her career.

from www.celebskin4free.com

So the film definitely has its perks for pulp freaks like this lady right here, me. Jumping off buildings using other people's intestines as a creeper, crucifying a priest on the altar of his own church, good times, DeNiro, fake TV commercials. Well actually it has a lot of perks, but still isn't at the top of his game. Glorified B movie.

Red Riding Hood is the hero of epic fails. I love Catherine Hardwicke but she was having a Twilight brain masturbation while filming this thing. Everything’s wrong here. It wasn’t supposed to be a love story for starters, but no one writing it noticed. It can’t work as a love story. Especially a gothic one. We already have the king of that genre duh!! And you are the one who brought it to us, how confused are you?

To sum it up it's a big match of the werewolf game. Nothing less, nothing more, with the exception of the grandma player which only serves the purpose of presenting Red Riding Hood with the long robe that makes it hard for her to run for cover.

It’s not scary enough. It’s not romantic enough. It’s not intriguing enough. The wolf looks like a huge stuffed animal spoiled brats like Paris Hilton would own while growing up. And everything is all in all shadowed by Gary Oldman’s perfect old lady hair.

If you want to know who the wolf is, spare you some yawns, I'll tell ya. It's the father.

Scream 4 was the pearl of the week. I was not a fan of the series, and by no means I am now, but this film has a cheeky genius you can’t but appreciate. I saw this before it even came out in the States so that night had the whole historic moment kind of feel.

It may be a little 90s but if you called me nostalgic you wouldn’t be wrong so I enjoyed it. It looks like a boiled and expanded WB show. I guess the nostalgic in me refuses to call it CW, but it is what it is. That’s what the original movie felt and I’m glad they kept it that way.

The only thing I can’t quite grasp is Neve Campbell’s character, she should get a taste of her own medicine and get killed by a huge rolling ball of boredom.
Anyway, Ghostface is ah gotcha!

Want to know more of my useless opinions? Read my Red Riding Hood and Scream 4 reviews!

The journey to womenhood

I discovered Makeup, capital EM, a year ago.

After a huge and loud breakup my brain kicked in I'm-da-shit-fuck-you-world mode and just focused on me, me and me. There wasn't anybody I loved more than, wait for it, ME. You guessed right!

This implied concentrating on school and work to be the best I possibly could and implementing a kick-ass wardrobe that could stroll hand in hand with my kick-ass upbeat streak. Said, done.

The next natural step was to get my face to reflect my inner freedom.

I had stopped wearing makeup when I got in the abovementioned dreadful, sometimes thankfully over, relationship because, like, I didn't need it anymore, I'd already scored. And also he who shan’t be named had asked me to because he thought I was cuter without. Aw, adorable, that's why I loved him, gigantic piece of shit fucker.

Aaaanyway, in my original makeup filled flirting days all I would go for was a lil eyeliner and some one-color messy shadow applied all over with fingers. Like a 5 year old drawing. No lips, well except for the late 90s when brick brown lipstick was all the rage.

My skin is pretty much flawless for these smoggy days we live in but all of a sudden I felt the need to ask for advice in looking for a foundation to enhance my newfound glow.

That’s how it started. I set foot in a beauty supply store and some sleepy gene bursts out of my brain making me a slave of all things attractiveness inducing products.

I then discovered MAC, which I’ve since been stocking on, and that is why I’m depotting stuff today. I need to save space for my luggage.

In a full year I went from zero to brainwashed motherfucker, sucking up on YouTube gurus and tutorials. Sometimes I feel like a sellout, but also, I don’t give a fuck. I love to apply makeup because it’s all kinds of artistic, and, mostly, I’m attracted to myself when I pass by a mirror, it must mean it only does me good. I came full circle this week preparing to leave for L.A. when I bought my first pro palettes and decided I had to get them filled to finally trespass into my makeup adulthood.

And I’ve just found out that mineralize blushes don’t have a pan so they can’t be depotted. Note to self.

Cream blushes on the other hand are way better depotting without any heat, like Enkore Makeup does, because well, they melt, and you can only then paint the town with them.

Also keep in mind to OPEN THE WINDOW before attempting such a poisonous plastic melting. It smelled like a rotting corpse was getting after me in here, and my head hurts now.

My lovely single eyeshadows, I'm going to miss them!

What you do is basically you get the top part out of the plastic container with butcher knives then place it on a heat source (straightening iron in my case) so you can torture the material and finally push the pan out. Now magnetize it and you're ready to go.

I also heated the whole container to remove the adhesive tag beneath it and place it on the freed pan before sticking the magnets to it, so the names are still on the back of it without having to write them anywhere.

My first pro palette. Defining moment.

The four blushes + one mineralize blush + one cream blush mayhem.

Same process, except missing a pan at the end of it drives me insane. I had to rebuild the mineralize blush packaging while it was flaming hot and melting and here it is standing beside the new home he refused to move into. Little rebel.

These are the 18 empties I'm going to return to MAC for their recycling program. And I'll get three free lipsticks for it! Best deal I've ever heard.

Having said this, speaking of makeup, here’s evidence of how it helped me a couple of weeks ago when I got sunburnt from stupidly facing the snowy mountains without any fucking sunscreen.

Admit one

When I'm in a hurry, I skip foundation.