Riflessioni

When I was growing up I thought I was this big shot unstoppable wonder woman, that nothing could hurt me or change me and that I was so young and yet already on a firm, strong path. I really felt that way and I truly believed it. Then 2006 hit and I realized that what I saw in me before was just a little part of what I could be. That being 20ish and independent was something I was rightly very proud of, but still just a part of the whole picture I could morph into.

This may be ridiculous but there was a guy in our school we nicknamed Dawson. Yes, because he was making films, in high school, with students, imagination, and a little of daddy’s money. But still he was making it happen. Unlike me, just sitting on my ass admiring how unstoppable I was, all the while being unstoppable at doing nothing, which kind of defeats the purpose right?

It took me 2 more years to realize that thinking about doing something doesn’t really make it happen, rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands in the dirt does. Maybe I had yet to find myself way more than I thought, because at one point it was crystal clear to me that I wasn’t happy in my shoes, that I was standing still. And I didn’t want to stand still anymore. I was craving for action, and I itched for a change. That’s when I thought, and believe me this was a recent discovery, that I could be the Dawson now, and explore those parts of me that were missing, the parts where the actions happen, the doing vs. the thinking, the creativity, without fearing of not being good enough.

That’s what I’m doing now.

I’m happy, but I wish this happened 10 years ago, that’s all I’m saying.