I feel like I’m always running after something. Most of the times I swear it’s like I’m constantly doing the one thing I really don’t want to do, whishing I could be doing something else. Like I don’t know maybe Hurley walking to get to a Dharma dressing jar wishing he was already there.
When I was back in college I was studying all the time while all I wanted to do was watch movies. Once I graduated I could watch movies all the time but opted for intensifying my acting classes (which I loved btw) and wishing I was watching movies the whole time I was there. Then I finished film school and basically had nothing on my plate, which meant (I did this math) at least 5 movies a day, but instead I bought a lot of books and started playing soccer, which all in all takes up three and a half hours of my time three days a week. This past summer I packed a shitload of divx for my three weeks secluded stay at the beach and I ended up reading the fucking Twilight saga. This past month I was going to catch up on the movies Edward Cullen had me miss but got lost on creating blogs and learning how to RT and what the hell the pound sign means on twitter. Also decided to get excellent at taking pictures with reflex cameras and master the great p, Photoshop, awesome but still time consuming. Oh yeah and I went Extreme Makeover Home Edition on myself and devoted my perfectly movie-filled life to a couple of projects. Right now I was going to watch Sucker Free City by Spike Lee but actually saw the clock ticking while working my way in to the circle of trust of my brand new iPhone 4 who at the end of the day will have to love me back just as much as I love him!
And so I find myself disgruntled about another movie-less night where I actually did nothing, like Hurley sitting on his fat ass refusing to keep walking although he really badly wants the ranch dressing.
This not only happens with movies you know… It’s a pattern to my life. I constantly avoid the GOOD things and opt for the less good things because I want to save the firsts for later, in order to enjoy them more. And then later becomes really late at night and I find myself here like right now, in bed, with my favorite Tinkerbell PJ, laptop sparkling and fingers ranting on keys, wishing I had a couple more hours to watch moving pictures fill up the screen. But then again if I had those two hours I would probably resume reading the Harry Potter series where I left off…
Does this happen to other human beings???
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