J1

Here we go. Six months in the making, I would have thought it at least would have tiny arms, a Humpty Dumpty of sorts. Alas it does not, at least it's very thin, you gotta know what matters in a baby.

And so I am in that place again. A foot on the door and a bag that's way to heavy, just as much as my thoughts. This is a dream coming true don't get me wrong. 18 months in the States. Sometimes I go around flaunting my achievement and people feeling my excitement go "how many years are you allowed to stay?" and I beam "18 months!" and they spit "oh, just that. I would have assumed way more by looking at you". And they just don't know that when I left for LA the first time in May 2011, with cardboard bags and an address scrambled on a piece of paper, I didn't know what the heck I was doing, I didn't know where my crazy, unconditional hope would take me. And most importantly they haven't been in the States, they don't know how it works, they haven't been at American Consulates where 1 out of 3 people petitioning for visas were denied, in front of my own eyes, just when I was about to go ask for mine. It's just 18 months alright but it is a huge achievement. And yes I'm patting my own shoulder right now, as much as it is inconvenient for my back pain. Six whole months of continuously providing documents and answering questions, most would have given up several times by now. A dream come true indeed, so why is it so hard to go meet it?

I'll admit it, I tend to like dwelling in nostalgia, I'm a 19th century troubled writer born in the wrong time-space continuum. So I'm dwelling away. Surprisingly this has mostly to do with my parents. They are not getting any younger and I hate being so far away from them. And this is where it gets twisty because I also LOVE being far away from them. Meaning having my own space, not having to listen when I don't want to and overall just having a chance to breath and be my own way. I guess it always just boils down to one big truth, always present, always valid, LA and Rome are just so fucking far away. Too much.

...

Meanwhile check in has opened and I got myself an aisle emergency exit stretch your legs seat! I'm taking off in 24 hours!! Forget my parents! WOOT WOOT!!

- Just kidding -

PS: Don't you hate that airlines keep the right to change your seat at the last minute for whatever reason? I fought for this semi uncomfortness and I'm going to bite you BA, hands off!

Back to packing.

My least favorite game...