The episode this week feels like a lame Alias installment, so in Undercovers world, that’s pretty awesome! Sadly there’s no Leo. But plenty of Stupid Sister, frankly waaaay too much. To the extent that we are painstakingly greeted by her and one obnoxious phone call she’s trying to keep underwraps in order to cover up some shady biz. Either she’s hiding the fact that she drinks again, in which case we couldn’t care less, or she’s a spy too and plays for the opposite team, to which I would reply BRING IT and momentarily excuse the writers for showing her face. But then again maybe she’s just having an affair with Leo. So thrust her back into the dark.
Moving on, there’s a ninja in a dumpster in North Korea. You get my attention now. The ninja infiltrates an office building and steals a thoroughly compartmented object a la Sydney Bristow and the old red floating ball. He manages to escape the guards from the window and lowers himself down to the floor beneath where he strips of ninja attire and sits at his desk. Woah, high treason. He looks like a slim Ken Tanaka, and goes to meet his daughter Gogo Yubari to tell her he must be going far away and someone will come for her. I wonder who that someone is. I hope it’s Leo for a sec, but I’ve already given away that he’s MIA. Wait a minute! Oh God, maybe he’s making out with Stupid Sister. Ew, gross.
Baldie explains to the Blooms that Ken Tanaka is a genius who wants to defect and go all CIA. They have to extract him from a conference in Geneva, where he is escorted by Korean guards because Korea has sniffed sniffed the smell of betrayal. Of course we can’t leave Baldie without a comic relief moment and we are treated to him shoving the Blooms out of his hotel room once the quesadilla he was waiting for arrives. That isn’t even remotely funny you guys!
That same night the Blooms are in bed trying to learn 8 years of physics in 8 hours in order to pass as believable scientists on their mission. This feat sounds so easily accomplishable that they decide they can spare a little time having sex. So they do. Have sex. Because they hadn’t humped last week and we were missing it.
The household back-story involves Sam wanting to organize a dinner party whereas Abs is a sociopath and doesn’t want to have friends. This kind of reminds me of the episode where Giuliana & Bill wanted to have people over, she tries to cook cannelloni for them and Jacobi almost throws up when he tastes them.
Back on track. Of course tartan jackets and horn rimmed glasses solely do a good job of making them look like scientists, so much in fact that they don’t really need to be prepared for the role. In hindsight they were fairly perceptive when they opted to do the nasty.
Besides, Flunkman knows how to search around Wikipedia and he reads out loud right in their earpieces. Revenge of the nerds. Abs flaunts his stuff saying smart is the new sexy. Very true. Flunkman being the exception obviously proves he’s smart AND a virgin. I think the problem there is your face honey.
The extraction doesn’t go smoothly but it’s indeed carried out, with the most unfortunate help of the chem. engineer double major virgin who blocks the elevator where Ken, Abs and Korea in the form of two guards are traveling, so that Abs can electrocute the guards and save the princess.
The princess though isn’t happy with his conditions anymore. He will comply with the CIA and hand them the device he stole at the beginning (which apparently does some serious shit) only if they bring Gogo Yubari stateside. Abs thinks he can be bribed with cars and houses and forget about her, but the wife disagrees, and because she feels bad about missing her sister’s party (which I won’t dwell into) she has a suddenly heighten family morale hence believes that Ken is right in wanting his daughter with him. Baldie says NO. “No one goes to Korea, no one moves. Roger that?”. Sam says “The hell”. Korea here we come!
The Blooms sans Flunkman pose as Canadian food inspectors, whatever that is, thus ensuing in a little French. I highly dislike this move. As a condition of their stay they are assigned a guide and confiscated passport and cell phones. They ask the guide to detour in a picturesque market where it’s easy for them to escape, then head to the house where Gogo Yubari is supposed to be. Supposed that is, because we were shown right before this that she has been taken by the police. While Sam is about to find out about a message Gogo managed to leave on the floor before being captured, there’s some noise coming from outside and the door to the apartment opens. Please be Leo. Be Leo. Aaaand… No.
It’s the Blooms’ French counterpart. A married spy couple looking for Gogo as well. Princess Ken Tanaka double dipped and is going to allow himself only to the best bidder, and that is whoever brings his daughter back. With sugar on top.
They find out the message on the floor points to a police station where Gogo is held hostage. The Blooms and the Depardieus decide to join forces in the rescue. Gerard is also very knowledgeable on this specific area of Korea because he posed as a journalist there for years. I don’t trust them one bit. Meanwhile Stupid Sister texts because she wants to hold on Sam’s skirt while celebrating her sobriety but Sam’s skirt is not there. I don’t like her one bit.
The police station is covered by a laundry business so the foursome make up a plan involving big carts full of dirty clothes to sneak in. At sundown. The girls distract the surroundings while the guys beat the crap out of people. When they get to Gogo she is about to be tortured. They knock the guards out and guess what? Taking advantage of a tiny moment of distraction on Abs part while he devours his wife’s ass with his eyes the Frenchie kidnap her. I knew they were scumbags. French.
Back in Geneva they want Ken Tanaka to hand them the device in order to see his daughter. Because Flunkman has fallen asleep he manages to sneak out and go meet them. When the Blooms get there he’s nowhere to be found.
I wonder how they boarded the plane back without their passport, considering they were flying solo and lacking any CIA approval nor connection.
Anyhow, the room where Ken was staying had been bugged so they’re able to locate the meet up place. Sam goes right there. The guys are left figuring out where Tanaka must have hidden the device and of course they pinpoint it in one split second: it’s in the podium at the conference centre. Right that moment the Depardieus learn the same thing. The wife stays behind with their hostages and Gerard goes retrieve the device. He is met by Horn Rimmed Abs minus the tartan and engages in a run through the kitchens where he is piteously defeated among the zucchines.
Meanwhile Sam on a cop bike and donning a leather jacket smashes the French bitch to the ground and rescues Gogo.
The power of family is then restored and even Baldie can’t argue with that. He’d offered Korea a bottle of whiskey and they had forgotten about the international intrusion. Sam hugs it out with Stupid Sister and has meal for two with her husband. Turns out dinner parties are overrated and Giuliana Rancic was right all along. Roll credits.
By the way, I liked this shot.
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