Just another date-less Monday

So today I went to work.

Let's take a leap back. It's a Monday. Mondays should be deleted from any calendar known to men. Once that's done Tuesdays would have to go. Sorry Tuesdays.

Now this particular Monday, today, I was so eager to work as Joan Rivers is to look at herself in the mirror without any makeup on. So much so in fact that I just didn't do it. It's that good to be a trustworthy person, your boss doesn't really check on you. So today I produced a grand total of, drum rolls, two emails. It's a tough life.

In all seriousness I bust my ass for them, I took an extra day off I'd surely already earned.

But this wasn't the only thing that made the morning interesting.

At the bus stop, while going to un-work, I saw him for the second time in a few days. Tall, dark, suit wearing and briefcase carrying. Short hair, clean and well kept, B+ shoulders, no beard, maybe just a tini tiny dusting of follicle tips puncturing his manly dry skin. A full on hot-office fantasy galore. He has a twitchy lip, I saw him by the photocopier asking me if I was interested in, twitch, coffee twitch. Of course I am! And then in between sips he undid his tie slightly with one hand and smiled a big white Tom Cruise playing Jerry Maguire top of the ranks grin that would forever be mine. Except the bus stopped, I had to get off, he hopped out the dream and did not follow me.

Needless to say I had squished onto the guy for the entire ride. The thing was packed, you understand. Thought about casually tripping over him due to frequent rough halts but didn't really have the guts to. I don't know it seems so easy in Drew Barrymore's movies. But when it comes to it somehow I never do, do it. Never able to find the right words to dish at the after (pity) party. The pathetic excuse being hey, I look so smoking for 8.30 on a fucking Monday morning, and today, I even think it was true, exhibit A:

So why do I have to do the deed when he wouldn't even bother to hop on a lil chit chat with this hot fudge strutting her stuff all over him?!

And that ladies and gentlemen is why I’ve been single for a year.